I have been struggling with a deep depression. I am in between jobs and I have a super hard time getting out of bed or off the couch. Friends from church are telling me to spend more time with God. But that doesn't seem to be helping. I don't feel like he has anything to do with this. What should I do?

Symptoms of depression include depressed mood, diminished interest or pleasure in activities, unexplainable weight loss or gain, sleeping too much or too little, restlessness or fatigue, difficulty concentrating and feeling worthless or guilty, and thinking about death or suicide. It can manifest differently for men and women. Depression is a particularly complicating condition for those who rely on freelance work, because just when you need to be energetic and confident about finding that next job, your depression neutralizes both of those motivating states.

It is important to note that there are two basic kinds of depression. The first is situational, meaning that the depression is an expected response to a specific event such as a loss or change of circumstance. This would apply to the ending of a job or relationship, the death of a family member or friend, the failure of an audition to provide work, graduating from school, and many other purely subjective losses (meaning that it's a loss to you even if no one else gets it). The second type of depression is a function of brain chemistry, meaning that it's something you may struggle with regardless of circumstance. If you have found yourself struggling with bouts of depression throughout your life, or if you have family members who have suffered from depression, your depression may have this chemical component. Many depressions are a combination of situation and brain chemistry.

Well-meaning friends are often inclined to try to "fix" when faced with someone who is experiencing emotional pain, and for Christians, the easiest fix to offer is "God." Your friends are giving you a similar answer as Job's friends gave him, which while well-meaning, provided no relief - in fact they served to increase Job's pain by suggesting that he had some power over circumstances that to him were beyond his control. The best skill any Christian can learn is to be present for a friend in need and validate their pain, whether that means prayer, casual conversation, or simply sitting in silence. For the depressed person, silent companionship is often the most healing. It is not anyone's job to fix anyone else's problems any more than Christ's friends could have saved him from the cross. It's our job to be present with others in their suffering as were Mary, John and those disciples who did not abandon him.

Spending time with God is always wise, but often God chooses to work through other people, and that includes professionals. Perhaps your time with God is showing you that you need additional, human assistance. It may be helpful for you to seek consultation with a Christian therapist, who can provide support and assessment of the causes of your particular depression, and who can help you determine if an evaluation for medication may be useful. This person will also be able to incorporate God and his role here into your conversations. Research suggests that the best treatment for depression is a combination of psychotherapy and medication.

Who is our Therapist?
Joanne Weidman, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and former "Development-girl". A graduate of PennStateUniversity and Fuller Theological Seminary, she is on staff at La Vie Counseling Center in Pasadena. Email Joanne with questions or comments at joanneweidman@yahoo.com